You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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