I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will be naked everywhere
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
