There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
