We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
