i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
