I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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