my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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