So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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