East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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