after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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