I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
