Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm both gender and math confused
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize