Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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