bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she looked like the before picture.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
