i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
