She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
