This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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