I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
