Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
