is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
