if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
