I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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