well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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