NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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