I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
People in love make me want to vomit
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
