i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
