I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
