Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
