R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I believe in your delicious
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
