just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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