Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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