Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
