i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
