since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
