Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
