DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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