there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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