oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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