and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
