He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
