if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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