idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
