Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
