is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
