Don't make out with my wife yet
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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