We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
