what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
