Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
