sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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