the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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