He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
