I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize