he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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