I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Randomize
