you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
