I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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