I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
