Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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