So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
