It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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