glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
